Who knows!
Who cares!
Its Friday night, and 20 yrs ago id be hitting the town with
my friends…preparing for another night out on the town and making memories….but
so much has change since those days!
Its Friday night. The end of another busy home school week. Filled
with appointments, play dates, coffee dates, book clubs, emails, more play
dates and school, laundry, meals, kissing booboos, more meals, more laundry and much, more school….and this Friday night at 6:00, when all the other mom’s on my
row are opening their wine bottles to celebrate another week finished with a
fancy meal….im not doing that. Im doing what?
Well, planning, correcting, marking and reading. SCHOOL! For the first time in a long time, as I stapled
my hand written lesson plan for math and language, I felt like throwing the
stapler across the room. Why?!
This is the last place I want to be!
Doing the LAST thing I want to do!
I am TIRED. Can I get an AMEN!
Im frustrated! Its been a LONG week ya'all!
I want nothing more than to hit the town with
a friend, at a restaurant that does not offer you a kid menu when you walk
through the doors, to sit and feel like, well, a person! Not a mom or wife or
home school mom, or a home maker (barf) but a person.
I adore my kids. They are my life (apparently so!) they mean
more to me, well, than ME! I love my
hubby beyond anything I can imagine….even thou I want to throw him off a cliff most days.
(Hahaha)…I just want a speck of how things use to be….
The long walks, the jogs, working out, hair cuts, shopping,
nails….ok. you see its all. About. Me
Then things changed. I got married, I made some room for HIM
Then i had a kid and LOVED it so very much
I had 1 more
And she was the bet thing ever. So FUN! So we…
Had another!
And another (I can. Not wait to hold you again my son)
And I find myself, 2 hrs past “closing” time, working on
school work and thinking to myself “ WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER?!?!?! NO ONE SEES! NO ONE CARES!
Then I heard the soft voice in my spirit, the voice that
often guides me during my days he said “ I see”
And the tears flowed
He sees
The god of everlasting
The god of love
The god of faithful
He sees
I can’t. the tears are blurring my vision( darn you pms!)
but he sees
My god of everything. He sees. I can do this. Only because
he sees me.
Im going back to my papers now….
1 comments:
Much more than awesoem, brought tears to my eyes just to hear that He speaks to you when you need it the most. What an supreme God we serve. Love you girl. Do as you always do because the day is coming when you will be so blessed and proud for all the trying times you have endured..
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