yesterday morning before nate's "play group"
breakfast. yes. a popsiclewhy?
the last 8+ weeks have been rough. very. rough
many tears
many prayers
many walks
many emails
many, many, many frustrating moments in which i lose my cool. yell. slam a door, kick a chair and even throw a toy (oops)
who would have dreamed that a tiny, cute, adorable 35 pounds bundle of a miracle could break me in so many places so many times
he did
but i got back up, and kept on going
i am the furthest thing from a perfect parent, i hesitate to call myself a "good" mom. esp after these last few weeks
i was ready for the 2's but the start of the 3's was way worse than what i could dream up!
my days were filled with constant battles, temper tantrums, disobedience, out right defiance, lying etc...nate was out. of. control
so, i did what i always do and shot off a round of emails to one of the godliest mom's i know. she helped me a lot. she gave me pointers and tips. i made some changes in our home and slowly i started to notice nate's behavior change. slowly. very, very slowlyyyyyy ha!
today i can finally say, i think i have my boy back! this week he has been SO obedient! SO happy! such a joy to have around. i haven't timed out him or used violent punishment in a few days, (that was a joke ppl) i think we are back on track
nate got his mail box back, his train is almost ready and he understand "it pays to obey" and "blessings follow obedience"
a few of the changes i made were these-
in MY home. i am the boss. i set the rules. then i explain them to nate (what was happening was i was not sure what my own rules were!)
in MY home the pecking order is this-
1-god.
2-chris/me
3-nate
one HUGE change i made was this
as soon as chris gets home, chris and i talk. we sit in another room, we catch up, we hug/kiss. WE talk. NOT nate. nate is NOT allowed to say a word. this is NOT his time. it is ours. he is welcome in the room but he is NOT to interrupt. if he does, we leave the room...if nate is there then we aply the "3 mins" rule meaning ever 3 mins or so we hug, chat or love nate...but WE are in control...NOT him
when nate acts out, throws something or wants attention, i go to chris and i simply hug him. no words. just a hug. with in a minute, nate is there. hugging us right back
i explain the rules. i make sure he repeats them back. then follow through. ZERO wavering. if i say it i do it...nate LOVES this and for fun he will test me on it!
we also took out every world thing in his room. there is nothing but good stuff in there...silly as it sounds, it works!
i can not get over the change in him. sure, he's still 3...is no where near perfect, but he's manageable and i am no longer crying in a fetal position on the bed...ha
i think we are through the worst. we made it
it's true. there is nothing more awesome than a well behaved child. i can not even imagine what god thinks of us....!
so after nate obeyed me over and over this morning, with NO attitude....he asked for a popsicle for breakfast. why not! it pays to obey!
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