turning weakness into strength. (one of my most fav verses it's in heb)
after i lost ben. i took sometime off from church. i stopped going. stopped teaching. stopped socializing
i did it because i needed to heal. alone. to hear god for myself. sure it's not a common thing to do. but hey, i have never really done anything common in my life
a-n-eways back to the topic
as the 4th sunday ticked by...i knew i had to go back...chris knew and gently encouraged me to go
i was terrified to go back
why?
people knew what had happened
i was one huge, nasty, gaping, bleeding, oozing with puss and gunk opened wound
i was open. vulnerable. weak
and everyone knew it
all my weakness, sorrow, pain and sadness was known
it's hard not being able to get pregnant
it's worse to lose your baby
everyone knows and everyone is watching
it was the hardest step i had ever walked. into the gym. down the back, to my regular seat (in the back, somethings never change)
i was weak and everyone knew it
it was the most uncomfortable feeling and at the same time the most freeing
the music started, rob and krista started to sing, i believe the song was "how great is our god" with tears pouring down my cheeks and into nathaniel's hair. i sang.
i could not care what anyone thought. i had to sing
my all over the place point is...what's wrong with showing some weakness?
once chris and i were hiking in banff and i passed this dude who had the. best. t-shirt. evah. it said
"pain is just weakness leaving your body"
how true
*above pic was taken on the hike that i saw the t-shirt
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