bottled up baby smell

its late, I am tired, finding a new source of energy, I slip upstairs in my quiet house to start my evening ritual

Picking up my bundle of joy, sheer delight in a tiny package, I cradle her in my arms, as I feed my baby using the soft pink light that lights the room I feel calm and peaceful. I hear the rocking chair, one that I've put so many countless miles on creak with each rock; I look into my baby’s eyes. She stares at me, closing her eyes she slips into her sleepy state.  I watch her drink. What a joy she is.  With a turn of her head I know she is done I dab the drops of milk from her mouth and smile at her once again as she turn her body towards mine, tucking her face into my arms

I stare. Time stands still it seems, I watch her mouth doing baby things, mouth puckering, relaxing into a smile, eyes flickering open to meet mine, then a smile appears as she closes her eyes and relaxes her body more. I can feel her melt into me. I am amazed at the power of love that I feel towards her. I look at her nose. So adorable! Her cheeks!  They beg to be kissed. I give in and kiss her soft, delicate trusting face. 

Feeling tired but not ready to say good bye, pressing my face as close to her as I can, nose to nose, I breathe in and smell my ellie baby smell. A smell that I long to snatch up and bottle and keep it forever. My heart hurts from the love I feel towards her.  I smell. I breathe.  I listen to her breath, steady and peaceful

I smell her again.  I don’t look at the clock for I know I've been up there too long already but not wanting to put her down. Knowing I will face chris and his mocking for spending too much time again. That’s impossible I think? 

my body is getting tired. The time as come to end my ritual. I breathe in her fragrant smell once more.  Kissing her cheeks and forehead. I stand up, slowly walking her to her  crib. Holding her body tight to mine. I stand in front of her bed. I whisper into her ear “I love you sweet one. So precious so loved. What a miracle you are, sent from heaven above. We love you ellie doll.  We are so grateful and thankful you joined our family.  We love you. Sleep tight and rest well. You are so wanted and loved” placing her in her crib, tucking her in with her blanket. I kiss her once more

 Clicking off the soft pink light, pausing at her door I whisper “ we love you sweet one” the door clicks. My ritual is over for today, but tomorrow, thank you jesus for tomorrow, I get to spend another day loving my baby all over again

How great is your love towards us oh lord?  How far does it reach?  Can I ever come close to feeling the love you have towards me?  How wonderful. How precious. How good you are. Pain and sorrow you are with me.  Joy and rejoicing you are there. Tears may fall and yet you bottle them.  How important I must be to you!

Now I just have to find a way to bottle up ellie’s smell and save it forever!  

Posted by mel at 11:10 PM