seriously. isn't he adorable! this photo was taken a few hrs after his birth...or i should say after i got cosy in my new room, was left alone with him for the very first time. i remember taking him and kissing him, then unwrapping his blankets to check him all over, to see those dimples, those toes, those birth marks, those feet! his fingers his lips, his hair and his adorable, squishy bum!

to the outside world, it looked like i was checking my new born son physical body

but in my heart. i was really looking him over for something more important and precious, something that held more value to me than anything. i was searching for

his manual. where ever could it be? he had to come with one. everything thing else in life comes with one. why not a baby? when the reality of not finding one. the heavy feeling of first time mommyhood-responsibility and well panic hit. i was floored with the heavy weight of responsibility that weighted on my body

this child has no manual

i am responsible to raise him

how in the world will i do this?

helppppppppppppppp

the past while. i and many of my mommy friends of 3 yr old are going through some difficult stages. it's been rough!

last week. i was rushing into the $ store, nate in tow, i told him he can have an egg IF he was good. (kinder surprise egg)

this is a good idea of our convo
"nate put that down! do you want that egg? nae! put that back! nate! come here! please nate, stop yelling, come here. nate no! nate come here. NATE!.............."

we get to the check out, and i get him an egg

did he deserve it? no
did he earn it?
no

the following day, i had to go to costco. i found myself digging in the cupboard for a snack. for my 3rd old

did he need it?no

i did

i was packing my back up. being honest, it's my "please be good and eat this while i get my stuff and get out the door before you freak out"

we get home and nate wanted a rice pudding. i said no

he threw a fit

i realised that i did this

i swallowed some HUGE humble pie and really thought about what i do and most imp my motives for doing them

then i knew, nate does not know how to react to the word no. i never taught him. its easier to not say no and give him what he wants

and not to follow through on my warnings

what a mess i made!

i made some changes. every once and a while we have to be tapped back on the right road. so i did some praying and got smacked on the right track

i took all of nate's treats away. no more eggs, candy, mail box, timbits, mcdonalds, toys, books before bed (prayers and snuggles yes!!!) snacks at night, water in his room, nadda. nothing. zip

he has to earn everything. by obeying. the first time i ask. not the second. first. he has to earn his treats not by being good at the store, church or at a play date

but by being good/obeying on a daily base

the first 3 days were BAD

he spent more time in time out than not!

his punishment is clear. lay ed out. solid. he now knows what i will and will not put up with

today i am finally starting to see the results! slow and steady steady and slow

ma. parenting is hard!

i was thinking about this this morning and i heard that inside voice say


"he will equip you with all you need" heb 13:21

so maybe i already have the owners manual...help!

Posted by mel at 8:57 AM