wasting away is how i would describe the last few weeks, months maybe even years. slowly i was wasting

so i did a word search on that word. waste

i was blown away by what god showed me and i thought i would share it with you's. why?! well, cause i am an open book. ha!

waste is first mentioned in gen 1:2-4(1st and last mention in the bible is always symbolic btw) this also depending on what translation you have. for "serious" study i use the spirit filled new kj, for "silly reading" (as i call it) i love the new life

n-e-ways

gen 1:2-4

the earth was with our form, (empty, wasted, with out form)and void; darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters

silly reading translation

The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters

ok. cool. but i went deeper

and other translation (can't remember which) said this " the earth was empty/formless mass covered/clothes in darkness

hovering='s -to remain in an uncertain state or irresolute state; to waver

- to hover between life and death

irresolute= doubtful

-infirm of purpose

- vacillating

vacillating= to waver in mind

3- "then god said "let there be light" and god saw that it was good.

Then he separated the light from darkness

then='s immediately

-next order of time

-then and there, at that precise time and place

- at once. on the spot

so. what does all this mean to me?

the bible was talking about creation but god showed me that he was talking about ME

i was empty/wasting away/ not was i in darkness, surrounded by darkness i was also sporting it! my body was dark, my face was life less, i didn't smile much, i was sad. a lot

i was hovering living in a uncertain state, full of questions. the future? babies? marriage? money/finances? home school? etc...

i was irresolute- doubtful of who i was, where i was going, infirm of my purpose. what is mt purpose? i thought i knew but now i am not so sure anymore...maybe i didn't hear god. maybe i was just doing what i thought was right, maybe i really don't want any more kids...

i was vacillating-i was wavering in my mind. i thought i heard god in the past about what he wants me to do, maybe i didn't actually hear him. maybe i should create my own purpose. maybe i am not so good at leading, not so good at speaking, not good at kids ministry, not a good mom at all, a bad wife, a horrible friend and spiritually? i think i am not good at that either...

then god said "let there be light"

god said "melanie!"
and he saw that i am good

then

HE separated me from darkness
he put a thought into my mind to go speak to someone
someone who would help me lift my head up long enough to

separate myself from the lies i was believing
and set me on the right path
but i have to walk
not her

then, immediately, at the right time, the right place then and there and on the spot god showed me all the above. my first crack at this whole journey last friday afternoon

yes, i know this is not rocket science and many of you's are like (CHRIS!) "duh. i knew that" well phew on you. i never said i was going to share anything new, deep or amazing spiritual knowledge :) ha!

Posted by mel at 1:24 PM