emotions! hormones! oh my!

everyone knows or heard about the female hormones ESP while preggers they are often used as an excuse to vomit over those around you or to behave in an undignified manner.  ooops? did i just say that out loud?

last yr we went  to colorado, sent by c's parents for a week of marriage council, all of us siblings were given the same gift.  c and i choose to go last june bec we were at a good place in our marriage, actually it was prob the second best place we've ever been at.  and i think that's a great time to go!

it's been over a yr now and i still use the tools that john taught us.  one day i should do a whole blog on how it changed me forever

one HUGE learning tool john gave us was this simple concept - chris is my partner, his personality is strong, solid and rarely, if ever changes. i could use some of that.  why? because i am a tool. ha.  i am an emotional, hormonal, up and down, crazy all over the place kinda girl. i have no rhyme or reason and that's the way god made me to be! there is NOTHING wrong with emotions. actually, according to john chris could use a bucket more. haha. 

point is.  i am emotional=good not bad (as i was told and believed)
chris is solid=good
if i am connected to chris who is solid, and we are emotionally attached. i will be solid. when i am emotional i can guarantee that we are not connected.  when we are, i am balanced out

chris and i balance each other when we are connected. and honest with each other. really honest. like brutally honest!

so.  the last yr this simple concept has helped me SO much. i have stayed more balanced and not responded out of emotion.  chris has balanced his work load to keep me always first. e.g i can call him at anytime and he will stop what he's doing to chat, hang out or come to bed with me (i go to bed early chris tends to stay up late)

BUT when got preggers i was freaked out. now i have THOSE hormones to deal with too! 

the last 2 weeks have been a daily struggle. NOT to have an emotional high or to feel better but to BE balanced. i am facing major change, fear, insecurity, emotions, tiredness etc...

i did a lot of soul searching, which is not my style!  i don't like to figure things out! chris does. but i did anyways and i am shocked at what i've discovered! and i thought i'd share them cause, well, i have nothing to hide!


 1. god is mighty. i am not!

god is in the middle of me, he's mighty. i'm not zep 3:17

-emotional ppl should not hang with emotional ppl. instead find those who are solid, chris-like and hang with them.  who you are with influences you!  surround yourself with what you want
i am determined to be at a place that is not emotional or controlled by fear and torment.  hang with those who's maturity and stability you want


2. calm delight!

live a life of calm delight=not responding nutty! stay balanced. don't let the yummy lunch i had today to determine the rest of the day (i am being silly here!)  don't go around bragging to everyone about this amazing lunch, talk about it but don't make it the focus of who you are because what would happen if you ate, ran around and bragged then got home and got food poisoning, will that change everything?  will i still be happy?  will i still be loved? or will i slip into depression, guilt, despair...
calm delight is living daily, solid

* a real example would be this baby.  is she the source of my happiness?  bec when things get rough, and they will, that will change my outlook which is really being emotionally led.  a baby is not the source of my joy.  calm delight is

chris is the perfect example of this.  cause he is solid. someday i wanna smack him to make him smile and be happy! esp when something good happened. i often think. why isn't he showing his happiness? why is he not yelling or crying with joy?  where is his delight?  hello?

then i realized that he is happy, he's the same as he was yesterday and tomorrow.  he is happy but he does not even put the emotion of joy into a place that can change his solidness. a baby does not change his world

*and yes, chris has really changed in this area. he is really starting to open up (slow and steady that is) and celebrate with me. not the way i do but in his own way

3. the stream and the storm

chris is like this stream of water always flowing in the same direction, never changes always moving...slow most of the time. ha
i am like a storm, blowing in and out and leaving a mess behind me

ps 107:29 "he calmed the storm to a whisper and stilled the waves."  what a blessing was that stillness as he brought them safely into the harbour"

there is nothing wrong with showing joy and happiness but there is something wrong living a life of high highs and low lows that control you

4. honesty is the best policy!!!

this is the big biggy!  there is power in being honest and telling the truth! esp about how i feel. i trust c and i use him as my talking board. i am honest with him ESP this pregnancy about everything i feel.  every hormonal emotion!  i talk and share. i call him daily, chris asks daily.  i tell him i am sad, happy, scared, depressed, discouraged. i say the words.  we search it out. lots of times i just say "i am hormonal today, please just let me be quiet" or "i need a nap when you get home, i am really tired" or " i am feeling overwhelmed, can you help with something"  this helps us SO much!

when we bring how we really feel out into the open, there is nothing to hide behind.  jn 8:32-the truth will make us free!

and SO many times i realized that nothing is actually wrong, i am just hormonal.  and i spend the night resting and going to bed early. guilt-free because i was open and honest with chris about how i felt!  truly liberating!

when my body is tired, my mind messes with me!  so i try to stop those thoughts with rest, restoration and recuperate!  being physically, mentally and spiritually tired is not the time to fix something! rest and get at it later!

5. the hormone test!!

there are seasons that i go thought that i find myself more emotional than normal, e.g pregnancy!  this is ok!  during this time i found myself way more sensitive, more easy to be hurt, more influenced my hormones...waking up and crying for no reason...haha....being set off by the silliest, little thing....

i've found the easiest way to respond to these emotions is to talk, then simply tell god that i am off my rocker today and i don't trust myself emotionally and that he should lead me around like a blind person cause i am not sure whats real and what's not...then i share it with chris who then helps me determine feelings from fact.  some days i even tell nate that i am really tired today and to be nice to me.  and lots of times i go to nate and share with him that i am sorry for acting a certain way, or said something i should not have.  my kids need to hear that i am sorry and i make mistakes!

my emotions won't go away, it's my job to take responsibility to channel them in the right direction, not allowing them to control me. staying balanced. or trying to!

prov 1:5
the wise will hear and increase learning and the person of understanding will acquire skill and attain sound council

have i acted with calm delight this entire pregnancy? not even.  have i changed? yes i have. am i proud of the way i've handled situations? most of the time.  as i am nearing the end, i am glad i've learnt and grown. i look forward to the future not because of what's going to happen but because i know - good and bad - god is there. he's faithful. he's loyal and he's right beside me leading me along the right path!

Posted by mel at 11:54 AM