facing fears has been this thing in my life. me facing them that islast night i finally went through the album of pics from the night i birthed benny-boy
it was not as i feared it would be
time heals?
god heals more i think
but i did it
alone in my office, i clicked away and looked at each picture. i saw tiny details i missed
i missed the pic of chris's cutting his cord
the pic of ben's hands. his fingers weer so tiny! but they were all there. i counted them. his foot prints! possible tattoo i think!?!
but when i saw the above pic, my heart melted. i saw the boy that i adore, the strong, never falters, never emotional, always solid dude...look soft...kind...loving...protecting. as he saw his second born for the first time
blessed to have you in my life chris. good time, bad times. all times. thank you for being you. i love you!
3 comments:
Love you Melannie. I know your longing for Ben , it is often in my heart!! .. And I pray for you... Vati sayed once ;Ben is in heaven by Jesus . Let him be there ! Ben has it good there! And Jesus has His plan with and for you on this earth. And His plans are good, only we see it so often not in the moment. And then I think of Heb. 12,11-13. I give it to you today. Love Muetti
And God loves you even so muche more!
Last week we heard something on the news about a baby dying. Quinn sat for a while, and then said how he couldn't wait to meet Nate's brother and play with him. He said he would play nice because he is a little baby. I had to turn away from him...
tonight in the tub, i heard nate talking so i asked him who he was talking to and he said "my brother. the one who is not here" very freaky bec nate doesn't understand what happened
then he told me that he also has a pretend brother and sister. like quinn...ha! crazy boy
quinn is so sensitive. mercy, he has one tender heart
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