Life

life in all of it's fullness. Life is full. Those are the thoughts that are dancing through my mind. I find myself lately wanting to write how I feel. Thoughts and emotions. But I dint have time alone to put a thought and feeling together. Ha. I've decided that I'm going to write and recorded a song called " mom! Mom! Mommy!" And just play it on repeat all. Day. Long. To save myself from hearing three voices calling it. Haha

So how am I?

I am good. I'm at a good place. I'm crawling out of the dark hole I found myself in last year. The second worst year of my life. I'm finding new joy and laughter. Contentment and peace while treading each day with out knowing what will happen. I often open my eyes most mornings and think " What will today bring?" What problems and solutions. Fast and quick thinking on the spot. Teachable moments and trials. Fights to break up or giggles to make. All the while hoping to throw in a little school with a few meals tossed in, and memories for my kids to look back on and reflect and come to the conclusion that they had an ok childhood. The pressures of life. Marriage. Children. Relationships. Friends and everything else in between.

The last week brought news to me that someone we knew, watched grow and knew his parents, had taken his own life. It has hit me like a blow to the heart. I think of him and his family often.  The unbearable ache and pain of losing their child. A young man in his prime. A man with an amazing call on his life. A man who was brought up in the faith, who knew God, who preached and loved the lord with all his heart and mind. Took his life. Why?  How??  God I don't understand. The whole situation has me asking and questioning. Not so much my own faith. I know God is real. I know he's faithful. I just don't understand life.

All around me I'm confronted with people who are going through their own trials and tragedies. I see pain and heartache. Depression and despair. Sadness and discouragement. In the last yr I've had people who are close to me walk through some really hard times. Not the " I'm upset I can't go on a vacation" sadness. But the loss of a spouse I expectantly. Divorce. Separations. Affairs. Bankruptcy. Suicide. Depression. Mental health. Headache with their children. Etc. It's been a rough yr

I honestly don't have the questions. I don't have the words. I can sit and listen. Cry hug. Pray and support.

The other day I was talking to Nate about how God dances over us. He was like that's not in the bible. I said it is!  I'll go find it. I read it out to him and said. Smile. Cause right now. He's dancing over you. He loves you that much.

Men fail. Life sucks. But I can say that God is always faithful. He loves us so much. And as silly as it sounds. When I see Johanna singing " yes Jesus loves me. Yes Jesus loves me. Yes Jesus loves me.   The bible tells me so". It's just that simple.

He loves me. The bible tells me so

Posted by mel at 12:54 PM