sunday/mon

 love going to my home church.  AWESOME coffee and cookies when you come in!ha

 i took nate with me and left the girls at home with chris. i wanted to listen and enjoy the service and with no kids  ministry thats hard to do with the girls!  chris met us after church and we went home....

 quinn sang on stage sun morning....he's in the striped shirt

 i got some groceries yesterday and picked this bad boy up for 13.00. im on the wait list at the library to borrow it, but there are over 200 ppl before me!  so i decided to just buy it.  im 3 chapters in so far and its really good! 

 i LOVE cheesies and cheese balls. my sis gave me this jar to take  home on sun (it was 3/4 full) it was GONE last night. haha

 joey cleaned up the chairs....GREAT job!

 my 2 girls. love them

 ellie's lego house

 nate did his school in the adult area

so last week was a brutal week for me. i lost the week due to with drawl....that sounds so bad. ha.  18 months ago my dr put me on a low dose antidepressant.  ive taken them 2 times before.  once for a yr, the other about 10  months.  both times i quit cold turkey.  ive been wanting to get off them for awhile but wanted to wait for spring to come, so i can be outside more to help with the depression/anxiety...while we were at the cabin last wkend i realized i forgot to bring the pills with me. so i stopped cold turkey and had NO side effects until monday....

then it hit me.  i dont google symptoms. ever.  its  not good for my anxiety and information stresses me.  so i felt weird on monday, then experienced some weird body stuff and had chris google for me. and yep, it was all with drawl.  in the past ive only had the "brain zaps"  last week i had everything.  i was so sick.  i couldnt keep food in my body, i was nauseous, anxious, horrible nightmares/dreams, mood swings and SO emotional. like preggo emotional....i can handle the brain zaps, but my body was taking a beating.  i didnt think it would ever stop!

i lost a WEEK, nothing got done, i was barely functioning. my goal was to get school done and the kids fed.

FINALLY yesterday i woke up feeling better!  im almost back to myself and im NEVER going on those pills again.  EVER. 

now that im off them, i do wonder how i will level out.  someone once told me that anti's are a great tool to help you manage life like a life saver of sorts. now that its gone. i have to be on guard to stay in control of my emotions and watch for signs of anxiety/depression....im just glad that the worst is over!

hows that for being real and raw! ha

and with that, my laundry is piled up, the floors are nasty and the kids want MORE food....does it ever end?

happy week everyone!

Posted by mel at 1:48 PM