This awesome blogger theme comes under a Creative Commons license. They are free of charge to use as a theme for your blog and you can make changes to the templates to suit your needs.

yesterday p.m

this is us, yesterday. kinda cool for us all NOT wanting to be in the paper. i am sporting glasses and sweats...shannon looks great cause she was practicing her new super cool learnt photo taking skills that she discovered at her family pic photo shoot. us? we were just laughing at her....but the tips worked cause she looks awesome! ha

i am so trying to get back into the blogging thing. i have been so busy and i am finding it hard to get back into a groove to upload pics and update the blog.....i will get organized again! i will! i will! 0 comments

2 yrs

i spent a large part of the weekend setting up for christmas but for some funny reason i just have the tree done....slow and steady i guess

anyways. i was putting the christmas socks up and paused for a quick moment as i hung up ben's. it look me a minute to refocus as i found myself thinking/reflecting over the past 2 yrs. 2 yrs today i met and let go of my son. it feels like days ago. i've been waiting to "get over it" and i've concluded that i never will. he is and will always be a part of my life

the past 2 yrs have been full of the hardest, painful, tearful and depressing days that i have faced. a season of sadness, mourning and torment


i've grown and grown and grown. i am pleased with how i've handled it. it's not over yet, life is full of craptastical events but i know this. i was not and will not be left alone

my faith has grown mountains. i've grown a voice. i have strength to let the stupid comments go and not allow ugliness in

as i hung his sock up. i realised that i will always remember him at this time of yr. i lost him on the funnest weekend of the yr. the santa parade, the christmas show, the banquets etc...i will always mark his anniversary on this joyful weekend. it made me sad. so not fair! but a second later i thought "i can allow this to be a sad memory or i can choose to be reminded of what i have" kinda like choose life or death

today i choose life

i will never ever forget you my son. esp today. its not fair that you never got to live. rest in joyful peace today benjamin. i love you

and to add more sadness to this post, today. i want to ask my blogger readers a huge favour. i received word yesterday that an amazing mom in waiting friend has lost her baby. she is having her d&c today. we now share this day. i know where she's at. mercy i do. i've been there. 2 yrs ago exactly. pray a prayer of strength for her. for today, tomorrow, the weeks and yrs coming

it's just not fair

he will wipe away every tear 5 comments

snow and more of it

now that the vacay post is done i can move onto more pleasurable things. like snow. yeah. we've had 2 snow falls since being home. nate wasthrilled with the first one. he could not wait to go out and make a snowball. and he did

then i realised how much he has grown. look at the way too short snowsuit! crazy!

then he woke up the next day and was all sad. all the snow was gone
but he wanted to go out anyways. which he found some sand box toys and placed it on his head. when i asked him why he put a rubber track from his tonka truck on his head he replied "my head was cold so i put this band on my head and now i am not cold anymore"

then he made no snow angles

i am beyond thrilled with nathaniel's imagination. he now plays for a good chunk of time by himself creating things. this is his "robot machine that is also a spaceship"

wed we got hit with more snow. this time it stayed. me i am not happy. nate? very thrilled

outside in his new to him snowsuit (thanks penny!) and it fits!

knee deep in the stuff

today is the annual christmas at the coliseum. yeah! i am leaving chris at home and i am going with a friend to shop in peace and quiet, after we are gonna hit up zellers moon night madness sale, and if you wear red you get 10 bucks off of order over 40. so sport your red and get your shopping on!

and no, our tree is not up yet....too lazy....

have a good friday !

last trip post!

playing a little mini putt

charlie enjoying her own dinner. lamb chops

funnest day evah day 2. day trip to honduras

boys getting their goof on

chris is gonna hate me. but what ever. ha. ok they had this pole and chris gave us a show

bawhhhhhh....more on that later then we hit the beach

they boys played

cry and shawn partook of the local beverages

dad rested

nate swam

then they all played

mom and dad took a ride. ha

we payed for them to have an all day access to this lift which gave them a wonderful view and most impt they did not have to walk from the boat to the beach. see we took care of them!

waving as i walk

then they big boys took the kids back for naps and i shopped with my sis. i got this amazing tea pot and super cool handmade crayons and i bartered for them all!

a sign in the store


the island from the boat

sis and i

the beach

more beach. it was very pretty, trust me

that night instead of going to the 2nd formal night, i skipped it and hung out with nate. i felt that he was needing some us alone time. i am SO glad i did , this evening was a high light of my trip. chris was with us for an hour or so then it was just nate and i. we went all over the boat, had ice cream before supper, ate together alone and just had a blast

this is the adult only part of the boat. it's sweet. cool pic taken on my nate date night

chris chilling with us before he left (note this is HID leg not mine :)

i am blessed

showing me his silly face

love, love, love him

shawn and quinn at the 24 hr ice cream machine

q and n showing us their moves. with a pole. haha. it was SO funny

last day at sea. it was SO hot i loved it! we dropped the boys off at camp and hit the adult part, we read in these amazing chairs but then it got too hot for me and i hit the hammocks in the back....divine......

me on dad/mom's balcony heading to the cayman islands
the other 1/2 of me
in front of the boat
the only place i felt was safe enough for nate to swim. all water sports were cancelled this day due to the high winds but i was ok with n going in this water
then it was c's turn. this was the high light of his trip. he said the snorkeling was the best
we went sight seeing (aka shopping)
awwww x's 2
can't keep them out of the water

yep, playing with a machete (sp???)

mmmmmmmmm fresh coconut juice

another mini high light, i swear it's the little things that matter! charlie came to visit before bed. she is such a hoot. i love this girl. she was up in nate's bunk...she took his mickey haha!

last day at sea :(

i took the boys on a hunt before kids camp to give everyone a break...we had such a great time! seriously!



then it was time to drop them off at camp and i did a little more reading

book 3. it was a good read

on the last day the kids camp did a talent show. what a hoot!

waiting for the show to start

not before freddy fun first! ohhhhhhhhh it's freddy!

then it was time for their show

intro'ing nate and quinn preforming the "tootie taught" SO cute!

loving the stage

final good bye with freddy

so dad/mom gave the boys 20 bucks to spend. on the final day i bought a freddy stuffed doll for nate (q too) and nate loves it. he sleeps with it every night. he now sleeps in this order 2 blankets (from ursi) 1 mickey, 1 puppy and now freddy

the original plan was to take the boys to downtown disney for halloween. at the last minute c and i talked about it and we decided to not take nate. we both felt that we did not want to introduce him to some of the more adult costumes that would prob be there at his age. we wanted to try to keep him as innocent as possible. so we skipped it and they didn't wear the outfits so for fun, i had them put them on on the boat. they had a blast

thing 1 and thing 2 in costume. also pretending to be disney characters....haha

coming home. boo

a view of tampa

all packed up and ready to go

early the next morning, in the airport preflight (this would be 5 am) in tampa

we flew to new hamp and then drove to bangor...

and after checking in cry and i went to the christmas tree shop, we brought quinn with us and told him he could buy ANYTHING in the store. what did he buy?


for real... this is quinn's purchase. i named him ginger

we spent the night in bangor and after a quick stop in target we drove home

and the vacay was over


it was a hoot thou and i can't wait for my next cruise!!!!!!!