This awesome blogger theme comes under a Creative Commons license. They are free of charge to use as a theme for your blog and you can make changes to the templates to suit your needs.

sadness turned to joy!

hummm i wonder what they were up to. they both look a bit guilty...ha! the pic has nothing to do with the post, i just found it this morning while cleaning out the old pics and had to post it!

nate's lesson!

i asked nate to go to the bathroom before his nap

nate threw a fit

i quickly asked god how in the world should i handle this

i chose to give nate all the instructions:

-go get his stool
-take it to the bathroom
-pull down his pants
-go pee
-pull up his pants
-come meet me in his room for a book and prenap snuggle
i then heard, banging, stomping, yelling, whining and carryin on
i quietly went to the bathroom, repeated the instructions and added that he did lose his book for not obeying with a happy heart but can still get snuggles (i never hold back hugs, snuggles as discipline)
a minute later i hear "mommy, i made a big, big mess"
and that he did
pee all over the floor, the walls, the toilet. i am guessing he took his anger out on his pee. haha
i was LIVID. but i kept calm. chose to not say anything. i went and got the rags, cleaner and went to work cleaning his mess
nate watched me from the hallway as i cleaned
then i went into his room, sat in the chair and held my arms out for him
he climbed on my lap
i didn't say a word
just rocked
back and forth
tiny, little shoulders started to shake
teeny, quiet sobs came
then i heard
"mommy, i am sad."
"why buddy?"
"i made a big, big mess and you cleaned it up"
"yes you did and yes i did clean it up"
"mommy, i sad. i peed ed on the toilet and floor. i am sorry"
i pulled him closer and said "that's ok buddy. it doesn't feel nice to be sad, does it? i forgive you"
"mommy, i still sad. i sorry"
then i felt a tear. he was crying
which brought me to tears
we prayed. we hugged. we cried. we laughed. we snuggled and we made it all right
i am so glad i chose to listen to that small, inner voice and obey
nate went to bed wiser, happier and with a lesson well's just better to obey, with a happy heart
what a longggg day....
man! i love that he can express his feelings! this rocks!

an imaginary threat

i love to reread a story and discover something new, but what's even more wonderful is discovering a new take on that same old story. and an even better bonus is getting slapped and the chance to grow more on a spiritual level

i reread the jacob/rachel story again

i have learnt SO much from this girl

quick back story on rachel

rachel is married to jake who is also married to leah, aka rach's SISTER (imagine!)
rachel only want to be a happy housewife with a boat load of kiddo's; but is unable to have all those children
leah's quiver is over flowing with kids

but lets leave those girls and look at jakey

jake has a brother, his name is esau. many yrs before, jake STOLE his brother's birth right...aka...all of daddy's good that all went down is another story

jake and esau separate and live their own lives apart (like hello, i would too if my sister stole my blessing!)

the time came for them to meet up after all this time

jake decided to "patch" things up with his bro by sending him know to smooth things over and make peace ...and to save himself from getting killed

then he hears that esau IS coming for a visit!
and he's bringing 400 ppl with him...400! that is A LOT of ppl!

jake freaks out. thinking he's a dead man. 400 men! they are coming to destroy him and his family and everything that he has worked SO hard for. his dreams, his life, his future. it's all about to be taken away

or is it?

in jake's eyes it was destruction

in reality is was a welcoming committee

"esau ran to meet jake, and embraced him, and fell on his neck (that's closeness at it's finest) and kissed him, and they wept"

my lesson

i think sometimes in life, esp in interpersonal relationships/friendships we (i) tend to miss read information, circumstances...when we don't have the relationship with a person, we use our feelings to determine the on going's and what not...and with us ladies, a lot of how we perceive a situation is based on our emotions which change by the minute...or worse...i came to terms with...i can rely on my own insecurities to determine how i feel and judge a person on that alone. ouch. not god's way. not his plan and defiantly not his will

my eyes shot open when i read this last night and this morning. instead of relying on me i must rely on god for discernment. not that i read a situation properly but i can miss out on something special, like a new friend or life experience

i must not be afraid of an imaginary threat/presumed enemy, but to trust in god...any hey! maybe even make a new friend along the way!

lesson learnt! 1 comments

monday randomness

me. a rare pic. i wanted chris to get a shot of my didn't work well...i actually spent money (johnny bogo coupon) to get my hair done. me likes. i got foils in a dark blond and a copper/caramel color. love it. in 7 yrs of hitchness this is the first time i PAID someone to foil my hair!
we went to the park yesterday, late afternoon. such fun!

nate found lady bugs, spiders, bugs, dragon flies and a creepy, crawly caterpillar
what a monday! it's raining. it's yucky. is it wrong that i adore days like this? i light candles, drink boat loads of coffee and tea (i am trying to get off the java...or simmer it down a bit) play fun music, clean and play inside. doing inside fort making out of pillows, tents, coloring, drawing bugs and eating! ha.


nate got a special, square package in the was fun trying to put it in the mail box...see how it just fit perfectly!

mail time comes twice a day now. first thing in the morning and after nap. nate jumps out of bed and checks his mail...most days i forget to put something in the night before so i yell "chris, can you put something in the M-A-I-L for nate" as nate runs down the stairs. haha
squeezing the square package out. note how nate can now reach the counter, with his feet on the floor. sniff, sniff
"what's in this?"
this opening mail is work! he takes it to the floor
completely delighted and yelled "itchy cuddles!!!" itchy cuddles='s veggie tales. then he asked to play it, so we did. we went up to the play room and i got to watch him dance to his favorite tunes
is it wrong that i woke up at 1:30 this morning singing "the bunny, the bunny, ohhhh i want the bunny"
thank you s&j for your thoughtfulness! it's nice to get stuff in the mail! you guys rock!
we were to have a play date this morning but at the last minute the plans changed and nate i and i went together. nate finally tried the big red swing...i asked for a picture and he said "NO MOMMY. NO MORE PICTURES" wahhhh what am i going to do??? haha
then the ducks were fed. one for nate and one for them...the ducks did get some bread this time!
then nate locked himself in the ball park and yelled "mommy, get me outta here" i told him to walk around to the door. he did. then he said "thank you mommy" bawahhh he cracks me up!

play date day

nate and logan
sharing secrets and such
follow the leader. love logan's expression...them boys are up to no good!
yesterday we took to the park, it was so beautiful! nate played and i got to catch up with some great friends. i feel like i have been gone for-evah!
this week has FLOWN by. so busy! with being gone for almost 4 weeks, then coming back to a weekend of work, hings just piled up on me...esp house hold management. i get asked a lot how hard it is to keep the house secret is daily clean up! i pick up, tidy daily. e.g. pick toys up, wash counter, dishes, the main level gets vacuumed at least once, every other day mopped...that helps a lot! then i pick a room and clean it, so that way by the end of the week every room has been cleaned! but with being away, i haven't done much and man, this house is messy! it's almost back in order!
rainy days like today forces me to stay put and i make the best of it!

so, have a great rainy day everyone!

such sadness

we knew both of these kids. the one who was killed was one of our helpers when we taught the inner city kids, his bro (the shooter) was in our class. the family has 5 kids. this family is a perfect example of a godly family, a huge role model to look up too for child teaching/training

i can not begin to imagine the agony that they are going through

this is the 3rd (i think, there may be more) teen death from the inner city this month alone. not just "teens" but teens that were living for god. so rare in this day. so sad

these are the kids we taught. chris and i knew them. we hung out with them, talked, laughed, corrected, spoiled, got mad at, pray with/for, we taught them the word, some we lead to him. they are some of the few that were doing the right thing, going the right way. it breaks my heart that we are saying goodbye to another one! such waste! such madness! such sadness

we know they are in a better place today. a place i can't wait to get to. but for now, on earth, we feel pain. sadness. confusion and grief

they will be missed

please, go and grab a loved one and TELL them how special and how loved they are! 1 comments

when the rain falls

shortly after i married and moved out west with my beloved. i fell on some hard times. mostly, leaving my entire family, all my friends, the best job ever, an amazing church, my support network and well, yeah, my life. some days were so hard

one hard day. chris took me to the river (the only decent amount of water and for a coaster like myself water is SO important) to walk and talk and share

at one point i became over whelmed and stared to cry

chris picked me up, carried me to a park bench and let me cry on his shoulder

then he sang

When the rain comes it seems that everyone has
gone away
When the night falls you wonder if you shouldn't
find someplace
To run and hide
Escape the pain
But hiding's such a lonely thing to do
I can't stop the rain
From falling down on you again
I can't stop the rain
But I will hold you 'til it goes away

When the rain comes
you blame it on the things that
you have done
When the storm fades
you know that rain must fall
on everyone
Rest awhile
it'll be alright
No one loves you like I do
When the rain comes
I will hold you

(the highlighted blue is the words chris focused on and sang)

chris brushed my tears away
held me
loved me

months later, i received one of those calls. you know the kind. you hear the news and sit down. realizing that your world will never be the same again. i got that call. sat on my bed. called chris in, shared with him the news

chris picked me up
put me on his lap
and quietly sang

i can't stop the rain
from falling down on you again
i can't stop the rain
but i will hold you till it goes away

this past november. coming home from the ultrasound. i went to bed. i sobbed.

chris climbed into our bed
wrapped his arms around me
held me
loved me
and sang

i can't help the rain
from falling down on you again
i can't stop the rain
but i will hold you till it goes away

this past sat night. it was a long day. a long weekend...nate came running into the kitchen, tripped and face planted on the bar stool and smashed his face. the pain he felt created instant cries and many tears

my mommyness kicked in
i dropped to the floor
gather my son in my arms
cocooned him up
quietly i sang

i can't stop the rain
from falling down on you again
i can't stop the rain
but i will hold you till it goes away

i realised then. it was chris who gave me the song to sing to kiss away our son's pain...from his birth i have sung this song to him...chris was the one who gave me the words to sing, to lead us even when he is not here

how grateful and blessed am i that i have such a wonderful hubby

yesterday was father's day. a day we thank our dads for what they do. i want to thank you chris, my bestie, my pal, my partner, thank you for being a godly dad/hubs to us. we need you. we need your direction, we need your love. we simply need you!

happy father's day chris!

no one loves you like i do


sprinklers, flowers and such is life!

for those who have wondered if all is good, it is! i have been SO busy since getting home. no time to blog, let alone computer time! i am taking time tonight to update this old blog!

we tested the sprinklers and voila! they work splendidly! we have our own, personal splash pad in our driveway!
more water!
there are 3 separate sprinkler sets. they can all run together or separate, they can also be adjusted by how high or how strong of a force you want to use
nate already met a new friend down the road, who came up with his dad to see what was going on in the driveway...they splashed each other then the little boy clotheslined nate to the ground and gave him a new scratch/bruise!
yep. nate likes his splash park
then to the real work.
and work we did!
we haven't stopped. we finally got started on the landscaping. we have a bit more to do, but we like what we did to the old place
garden on the side of the house. we decided to spend the money and invest in perennials. that way we don't have to spend a lot every year as well as plant flowers! here we did mini tree bushes and lilly's. can't wait to see them bloom
this was the best pic i got from the front beds. we did mulch, bushes, trees, roses and more lily's
as well as a few more but i can't remember what they are...haha
my window boxes! for the. longest. time. evah. i have wanted window's my way of connecting with chris's swissness. i love them!!! they will be annuals, so i can change them every year to suite my fancy. this year they are multi colored, multi kinds and all over the place...kinda like me don'tcha think?
ignore the water hose. the grass is freshly seeded and should not be walked on...i can't wait to see it once it all comes together!
oh yeah, we also planted some trees...a few blue spruce and a cherry tree, we hope to add apple trees this year and will add more trees over time.
nate hopped into the wheel barrow to help chris. he's such a great helper. ha

there ya's go. once the grass is in i will post better pics. we are talking of making some changes and adding more flowers and what not.
so there ya go. that's what i have been doing. i am tired. my house is TRASHED. seriously, i would be embarrassed if anyone came over! next week is cleaning time

charlie girl is here!

the start, all smiles! cry was admitted last night with high blood pressure and was induced by the drip. i got there at 11:30 pm, the drip started at 12ish, her water was broken right off the bat and her contractions started up right away
smiling in between contractions approxy 20 mins after her water breaking
1 hr later, after i advised her to get on the ball...haha...her contractions were back to back, strong and painful. being the type a personality that she is and being tougher than nails, she went all natural. zippo druggo's
approxy 2ish, less than 2 hours...she was FULLY dilated
big smiles. dilated and ready to push!
pose in between pushes
and the pushing continues...for ummm maybe 5 times
because my sister is the fertility goddess, pregnancy queen and labour/delivery wonder. her induction-dilation-delivery was LESS than 3 hours...she pushed a few times, 1 teeny, tiny tear
and out comes my amazing, adorable, healthy, beautiful, head full of hair niece
the "we did it kiss" before the cord cutting
saw's response from seeing his daughter for the first time
heaven sent gift...moments old
utter peace. you did it girl!
shawn touching charlie girl for the first time
perfect family
sniff, sniff. so happy for you sis
yeah! we did it! ok not me but i helped keep things light and silly
momma and baby
multi tasking daddy
i am way too tired to flip the pic. sorry ya'll
5 min old
on the phone with uncle johnny and aunty jess with the good news
yep. 9 pounds. she's bigger than quinn!
mom and i left the hospital around 3:30. we got home after 4, got to bed at 5:30, then woke up an hour later...i am SO tired right now but i am faithfully posting pics. we went in the morning with poppy, quinn and nate to intro charlotte to them...
seriously this was taken this MORNING. HELLO cry looks AMAZING for just having a baby! dad and nate's first peek. nate was so taken with the baby!
poppy's first kiss this morning
quinn's turn to say hello to his "little" sis
we went back tonight so i could get some more snuggles in. me and my miracle baby. miracle that god took my yucky situation, healed me up so i could have an amazing experience. peace that passes anything i can even begin to understand. total love and awe and joy for my sister, her husband and her family
i had to give her back to go home. sniff, sniff. she is a total doll. i adore her.
thank you cry for allowing me to experience charlotte's birth. i may not understand why things happen. but i do know that god can heal the broken hearted, if you let him in. the tears i shed are tears of joy. i love you. thank you for letting me love and snuggle your baby. she's such a gift.
i am SO tired. so i am sorry if this blog is all over the place!!!

totally tuesday

with all the rush of this weekend, nate gave pappy his grand poppy gift a few days early
he thought he did a great job!
nate and i dined alone at wendy's. it was fun. he's a funny dude!
that's about it. lazy, no pic day today
no baby yet...cry is on her way into the iwk tonight. her blood pressure is up, mixed with some swelling and over ickyness...and a bit of gut instinct that something is "off". so we wait....stay tuned!