yesterday i said good bye to my bestest bud. my beloved puppy. some people don't understand the sorrow that a person feels when they say good bye to their pet. i always knew that this day would come. i thought i would be prepared. but i was not.
this dog was not just any old dog. she was a gift given to me by my parents during one of the darkest times in my life. out of desperation, my dad broke his following vow "I will never have another dog in this house". you see, sometimes you have to do what you don't want to get the results that you desire. hu? you may ask. allow me to explain.
god used this dog to soften my heart, to slowly and painfully tear off the layers of bitterness, anger, resentment. to get me to the point in my life where i was no longer satisfied with my pitiful existence. i was simply just existing.
in stead, by using a simple dog. my heart began to open. i began to search for answers. to look at my life, how i was living. to get me to the point where i no longer want to just live this life. i wanted more.
my belle. you have been through much with me. how many times did i cry into your soft fur? thank you. thank you for always being there for me. for listening to my heart's desires, for keeping the many secrets i told you late at night, for keeping me safe many nights alone and for keeping me company on many walks.
i will never forget you bellers. i know that you are in a better place now. that you are eating steak and sleeping in the sun with chanice (and stealing her spot in the sun). enjoy yourself girl. i know that one day i will see you again.
i love you girl. thank you for all the memories. i will never forget you.
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