i was once told that once i became a mom i would understand life. i had the impression that once my title changed to mom, i would finally have this amazing knowledge and finally understand everything so much clearer. what a crock. i have how ever discovered that god will use what ever situation you are in to speak to your heart.now that i am a mom, i do see things differently, god will use nathaniel to teach me. but as i reflect to my past i also see how god has also used my season of being single, or my waiting stage...etc...to teach me.
yesterday he used nate. in a big way.
yesterday, it was like any other day. i was trying to get a lot done in the shortest amount of time. nathaniel was in a cranky mood, fussy and pushing my buttons. he has taken up the joy of not listening to me when i ask him to do something, if i call him we runs away, the basic toddler joys. i decided that i could not just let this not listening slide anymore. so, i took the time yesterday to correct him.
as i was emptying the garbage, nate was following me. when i went into chris's office, i emptied the garbage and asked nate to come. nate is not allowed in chris's non baby proof office. nate screamed his protest, kicked the bed and started his yelling of demands that i let him stay and play.....with his most favourite toy of all....chris's poker set.
i got down to nate's level and told him that we had to go. he could not play with the poker set. i then left the room, stood in the hallway and called for him. i waited. nothing. then i called again. and i waited. i chose not to yell. i quietly told nathaniel that i had spoken and he was to come. i went back into the room, got down on my knees and looked him in the eyes and told him that blessings follow obedience and that i want him to listen to me, to obey me so that he will have a long, amazing blessed life but it was his choice. i then left the room.
i called again. i waited. then i heard a huge scream, stomping feet, hitting the bed with his fists and more screaming. then i heard foot steps, then i saw a pitiful looking boy with huge tears running down his face. he wanted to play with that poker set SO bad. it was all over his face, his body language. he came to me.
i dropped down to my knees and asked for a hug. he hugged me, sobbing, i could hear the desire to play in his tears.
i pulled him out of my arms to see his face. i smiled, then clapped my hands, then told nathaniel how happy i was that he chose to listen to me, when everything in his 20 month old will wanted to play with that poker set. he chose to obey. i then told him that because he obeyed, not only can he play with the poker set, he could play with it in the play room for as long as he wanted. nathaniel played with that poker set until lunch time.
as i was walking nate and his poker set into the play room. i quickly asked god if that was how he felt about me.
i want something, i demand it, i cry, i beg, i stomp my feet.
god tells me what he wants me to do.
it's NOT what I want.
i put up a fight.
god is waiting, watching, and silently praying that i listen and obey because what i want is nothing compared to what he wants to give me.
will i obey?
just another lesson in this new world of mommy
tomorrow morning at 4 we leave for the sun and to hang with mickey and the gang! wheee! mom, dad, cry, shawn, quinn, rose will be arriving tonight to stay over. i will be back late next sat night.
i am off to pack and clean. have a great week everyone!
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