my roots

last week i had the opportunity to drive a van load of kids to church, the church received a call from a young gal who wanted to bring 30+ kids from her neighbourhood to church but had to means to get them there

so i drove the van, c took n in the car. as i drive in the convoy to this new area on moncton i've never heard of or been to before, i had a suspicion of the kind of kids/area this was. as i pulled up and was greeted by the young gal and her 30+ kids i was correct in my suspicions. poverty, neglect, oppression was written on the homes

as i settled in my van load. 4 babies. 4 babies with out a mother. i was forcing a smile as i snapped the buckles to help with my dry heaving. the stench was so strong. i was suddenly regretting eating breakfast. the car seats were stained, soiled and smelled awful

my heart broke

as i drove the 4 babies and the young gal to church i did everything to distract myself from the waves of stench that filled the van. body odor, dirt, filth mixed in with baby spit

i dropped my babies off at the door. 4 babies. 4 car seats. 4 trips. i was officially relived of my driving duties but had to make sure the babies were all ok. after a quick peek in the nursery , i ran upstairs to check on nate to make sure he was ok (who am i kidding? i was really checking to make sure that he has clean, matching clothes on, his faces washed and teeth brushed as c got him ready for church....ha!) i joined c back in the service and settled in

i looked over and saw the young gal's mother. the only other adult that came with these kids, walk into the room...looking a bit lost, uncomfortable and little out of place, i caught her eye and waved her to come sit with me, moving chris over at the same time. she joined us. just for a short time. after she left i sat down and cried

so overwhelmd with emotion that i could not separate and identify i asked god why? what's the problem?

i am use to working with kids. street kids. this is not new! why the emotion and tears?

i discovered that there is a difference between neglect and delinquant

so then, why did this batch of kids bother me so much? i've seen it before. out west. the neglect, poverty, all kinds of abuse, the hunger the dirt, the (ick!) lice...what's the difference?

the kids out west were 99.5% native

these kids were 100% of where i come from

the young girls mother? well she looked just like my aunt. my mother's sister

i come from this. the poverty, the foster care system, the abuse, the neglect the hopelessness of it all

my mother was raised in it. she suffered unmentionable abuse

so then. how did i escape this environment? the one that seems to repeat itself. how did i escape? my mother didn't. my mother lived this life. actually, the houses that i picked the kids up at were palaces to what my mother grew up in

so, why me? why my family?

my parents sent us on a church bus one time, to get a break from us kids

that sunday school bus was the start of the end

ending this hopeless environment that breads itself by repetition

starting a journey of searching for something

i am not ashamed of where i come from. i am not embarrassed by my family

i am a product of how a church sunday school bus can be the start of a new life

this past week i keep hearing this "don't turn away or despise children! my kingdom is full of kids like these"

what ever does that really, really, really mean?

these kids, the ones who have invaded our church, disrupt our regular sunday program have started the change of events that can change their life. they too can come out of where they are all at.

these kids won't remember the sunday school lesson but i guarantee they will remember that kind nice man who picked them up every sunday, or the clean lady with the pretty dress who hugged me or that teacher who held up that coloring page of jesus in front of the class and declared it the best picture colored. ever

these kids can't be turned away, they hold the future. they will one day turn into adults. adults who change patterns creating new starts

Posted by mel at 6:06 PM