5 yrs. already. so much has happened, so many changes so much to cherish, so much to be thankful for
knowing that fri was coming, i spent the last few weeks preparing my heart and asking god to show me his plans, his desires for me in handling the day i hate the most
i heard a soft voice speak to my heart and say "be thankful"
so i am. i choose to be thankful. i choose to thank god for my son, i am so grateful to know i will hold him again! he is alive right now. he is living a life far more grand than i could even imagine! hes not in pain, he's enjoying and rejoicing. so today. i choose to do the same
oh, i wont ever stop loving and thinking about him. ever. he lived in my body, he heard my heart beat. he heard my voice. he was and will always be a part of me. how can you forget a child you felt move in your womb? you don't
but today i give thanks for so much. so much in the last 5 yrs. but most of all i give thanks that this horrible process has had good come from it. so much good. so much
i was reading the other night and this literally jumped off the page at me
sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. eccl 7:3
refining! the perfect word! this whole process and all the junk, hurt, sorrow and sadness made me refine who i was, to make changes, to draw closer to my god. closer in sorrow. to come out refined! only a good god could create the process to refine you, to make you better through a tragedy. i can honestly say that through all the darkness, the light came brighter. i became a stronger, better person. a better mom
i will never, ever stop thinking and loving you ben. i can not wait to see you again! but until that day comes, i am going to make you proud. i am going to love life and rejoice for all the good i have. all the blessings i am surrounded with, including you for you my son have a special place that the other 3 don't have. i will always carry you in my heart. i will keep you there until i can hold you again
i love you ben. happy 5th birthday
DIY Clamp-on Pallet Forks for Loader
6 years ago
6 comments:
Baby Girl
Oh how much you have grown in every aspect surrounding your (our) loss of a son, brother, grandson, nephew and cousin.
As your proud Daddy, I see and understanding your words. I will always until I join Ben in Glory have him in my thoughts and memory. He has left an impact upon my life.
Blessings Papa
Hugs, Aunt Shirley
Hugs, Aunt Shirley
Love and hugs . Muetti
one day i'll hold you in my arms like i held you in my hand that day
this is nate...Ben i am only your brother but the amount of tears i have sheded is uncountable...but both you and i will see echother again
Post a Comment