the cycle2 weeks of living life, somehwat normal...haha
ohhhh what's that? ohhhh chris quick it's time
10 days later
the self check starts
acne break out? it could be
sore back? ohhhhh
hormones??? maybe?....
bloating? too many chips last night? ha
sore boobs? just from my constant poking.....
is it?
could it be???
is this the month?
go to sleep, dreaming of +'s
waking up to reality
the walk of shame mixed with sorrow from the bathroom to chris
"sorry babe, were out"
back to bed. me on my side. chris on his. backs facing each other. each lost in private thoughts
i deal with the cycle all over again
why? why god why?
what did i do wrong? what should i do better?
anger. god where are you???
rage. i am SO mad (*&^*^%^$%&^%
hurt. god, hold me. i hurt
acceptance.ok. so we are out. move on
heart talk. clean out the negative stuff. no room for bitterness
sadness. tears. breaking.
reaching out to the back facing me, it's time to come together. time to share. time to listen to his thoughts. time to hold each other. time to remind us that we are not alone. we have each other. time to smile and remind each other what we do have. time to pray. time to talk to god. time to hug. hold. support and love each other
this month is over. it's gone. it's done
tomorrow is another one
don't remember the old days, look ahead on what's coming
babies or no babies. it's ok
it's all going to be ok
take this cycle and repeat. weeks. months. years...
7 comments:
Sad with you......Wondring what God has for plans for you..... I pray that God holds you in His loving father arms....even when you want to run away....He is with you anyway.
Love Muetti
oohhhh melanie...much big hugs for you...praying and knowing that God is in control and has a plan...frustrating when ours don't line up...hugs to you... we need to get together one of these days
goofy me forgot to say it was from me...time for more hugs
jodie
Hope this helps:
Romans 8:15-18
For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God,
and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
I know that it sucks right now, but what I testimony you do/will have about the sustaining power and steadfastness of God and His promises!
Still praying your miracle, Mel!
just seeing this....love you and never loose hope! god has big plans for my eigenheer friends...if only we knew exactly what they were when we are going thru rough times and know when the light is at the end of the tunnel...do u see the light? i do!!!
love you and sending you big hugs since i never gave u one today
misty:)
my heart hurts when I read this!Victory is in the PRAISE! that from Donny's message a few weeks ago has stuck with me ,and came to mind when I started this comment!
I am turely amazed at how you seem to be able to pull yourself back from the awful feelings and darkness of sadness and bitterness! that is incredible!
Have you ever read the supernatural child birth book? terry mize. has great confessions for conception and pregnancy and child birth. its been my handbook through all three births.
your guys are the best. i love that i can be honest and share exactly how i feel, and be real about it. i don't want to be a faker mc fakerson
m- i love you!
j-i miss you and we will hook up to catch up!
p-thanks for the worsd, it's always true and needed and it made me smile!
m-it's your turn to support me hahaha
s-your friendship means so much to me, i watch you and your family grow and it shows me how much god can work and change ppl :) (ha) i have to book, read it
at this point i have left it in gods hands. i am ok. i would love more kidlets to bug me (honestly here haha) but i am content with what i have :)!
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