it's 12:15 in the morning, i am waiting up for chris. for some freakish reason, i can't bare to go to bed with out him, chris is out with a friend. anyways. in the late hour, i was reflecting and remembering a year ago...one year ago right about now, i was mixed with feelings, a bundle of nerves, full of excitement about watching my first ever birth and at the same time, total fear of not knowing how i was really, really going to feel as i saw my niece enter the world
how would i really react?
sad?
upset?
delighted?
disgusted?
passed out on the floor due to the blood?
excited?
i was stunned to watch the whole birth. amazed at my sister's strength, not a scream of pain nor a stream of hateful words leashed out at her hubby or a tear of pain from her eyes. she was focused, relying on hc for support, she pushed, groaned, sweat ed and smiled when it was over
it was amazing to watch charlie come into the word. words can;t describe the sheer beauty and ickyness of it all
what made me quiet (for once) was watching charlie come out, the cord being cut and with tears of joy, true and utter joy, i watched my strong, non-girly, no emotion sister open her arms and cradle her still blood covered daughter to her chest, cry closed her eyes and smiled; just as her body started to shake from the whole birth process. her face looked exhausted from what just happened, but her eyes smiled
i will never forget that look watching my sister, in the wee hours of the morning, looking so peaceful and relaxed, delighted and content made me realise that everything was ok, everything will be ok. there is nothing to fear, charlie girl's birth proved to me that no matter what, my sister and i will always love each other
( i snapped this pic seconds after charlie met her momma, i love it. i see nothing but beauty in this picture. i pray you can see it too....or my sister is going to hunt me down and beat me like she use to growing up. cry, i love you and would NEVER post a bad pic of you! )i am thankful that i had the honour to watch my niece grow up this past yr, she is adorable and to me the cutest little thing ever, i adore her, i love her, i thank her for showing aunty that she can love babies, there is always room for love in this world
happy, happy, happy birthday charlie grace. i love you so very much!
2 comments:
Melanie Anne
You are absolutely the most gifted writer and have a great memory.
I still am convinced that you would make a great writer, especially children books.
You are gift to our family.
Luv Ya baby girl, Daddy
awww dad, you have to say nice things about me. haha. i kid, i kid
thanks for the kind words daddio!
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