today is a big day for mei got my hearing aid
i had no idea what to expect, i haven't heard a work out of left yr in more than 20 yrs
after i fitted the h/a in my ear. i sat back and waited
finally, we turned it on
then i heard
not what i expected
the opposite. it was so loud. everything that i knew was no longer what i thought i knew
chris's voice did not sound the same
nate's voice was not at all what i know
the room was so loud
my hair makes noise, every simple sound was magnified in my head
then i feel those familiar waves hit me
panic
fear
anxiousness
everything was new. i feel alone. i am over whelmed. chris's solid, never changing voice was no longer the voice i knew so well
nate. his cute adorable voice is no more. it's loud. painfully loud. to the point that i can't bear to hear it
my world is new
scary new
i have to learn all over how to hear
i never dreamed a little hearing aid could cause so many changes in my life
i feel lost, alone and scared
i was told this is normal and it's the main reason why ppl don't get hearing aids. it changes everything and makes you learn everything all over again
but with everything. this too shall pass...a week or two and i will be back to normal. when that happens i go back to the clinic to have the volume turned all the way up. imagine! sensory over load now! i can't believe that i will need to go through this all over in 2 weeks!
the thought of me leaving the house again today to go out (which i have to do later and again this evening alone) makes me want to run and hide!
it will get better. the familiar feelings will return. i will learn all over. i am not alone
this is not what i imagined it to be! but it will get better.....it will...it will!
5 comments:
i am so happy for your new hearing even though it has caused many emotions...it will get better, it has to right?! ;o)proud of you for taking this step...i know you have put a lot of thought into this and went for the plunge and the plunge is not always the easiest!
sorry i missed you sunday...on the drive home brad said you were there and i was like so she wasnt...hes said she sure was i seen her at the desert table. miss you my friend! can't wait for our regular tues mom2mom adventure dates!
xo,
misty
bawahhh he saw me at the dessert table? haha crack me up
you were there yesterday? i was in the nursery then dashed upstairs to grab some grub (desserts) then met with brad and jolisa for their wedding so i didn't see many ppl. can't believe i missed you guys!
r u coming to m2m tomorrow? we can cathc up then!!! SO looking forward to it! i'll be there, the one with the ear pc. ha!
i will be there for sure! i am so looking forward to some mommy time snd spending time with the beautiful ladies in my life, while babies are in the nursery program...
That is awesome!
I will still always walk on your left side though, out of habit ;)
cry-the left side is always gonna be your side ;)
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