this was a huge step for me. i put it off as long as i could. i choose to deal with the issues surrounding this big step...i dealt and dealt and dealta few weeks ago chris casually threw out "we should change nate's bed over this weekend"
i stuttered. got silent. then said "no, not yet"
chris gave my shoulder a squeeze and said "no rush"
yesterday, during breakfast i said "tonight we take nate's bed a part"
chris said "sure"
there are reasons why i did it so late a few were
-i was told by friends with older kids (boys) who i go to for advise, to wait until there are 3. most say that it's easier, why rush it, wait until they understand and why fix something that's not broken?
nate is an amazing sleeper (thanks sleep training!)
but the real, deep down truth was pure selfish reasons on my half
that crib was never bought with the intention to use as a bed for nate. it would crib all our babies. nate would move from crib to his super duper cool big boy bed (that we made plans for) then the crib would be taken into the spare room upstairs for benny boy to use
that didn't happen
i was not ready
i waited
i am ready now
i have accepted where i am at today
my house is once again cribless
no baby(ies)
no ben
it's ok!
i am good!
sure i cry. some more days more than others. i am glad that i waited and worked on the pain and hurt. why? because in stead of last night being sad....it was FUN! it was exciting! it was so cool to see my big boy in his big boy bed!!!!
you changed my sorrow into dancing
you took away my clothes of sadness
and clothed me in happiness
i will sing to you and not be silent
lord, my god. i will praise you forever
psalms 30:11-12
1 comments:
Awwww Melanie. Thanks for sharing this. You are a very stong person. Good for you for doing this for Nate. He must have been so excited!
Véronique
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