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d day!

dentist that is
he's a big boy now and went into the chair all by himself
big boy!
my wonderful hygienist showed nate the ropes

nate did great! i did leave the room when the dentist came in, i thought that nate would be better not having me there. sometimes he will refuse to listen if i am around, anyways. after i left nate opened his mouth and the dentist did a full and complete check and clean! he's growing so fast!
toys? who needs toys?
over a month ago, i got a box and turned it into a play house for nate to play with....since then it has been
-a rocket
-a puppet stage
-a slide
-a ramp
-many forts and tents
-a dog house
-a car garage
-a farm
-and more, i know i am forgetting something...
i fear it's becoming a part of out furniture...haha
my dentist experience
i hate the dentist, it's a fear that use to consume me. i am so much better. i can go now and not cry :) my dentist is wonderful and has helped me work through these issues :) i do have a teeny cavity between my teeth and i booked the appointy this monday to get fixed. how far have i grown??
anyways
this year of firsts SUCK. i never know when the next one will come!
i am sitting in the chair this morning and andrea comes in (dental assistant) our convo goes like this...
a- hey, how's it going?
m-good!
a- and how is the baby? you had the baby in april right? last time i saw you you were 16 weeks
m-umm there is no baby, we lost him at 18 wks
a-oh
m-don't worry about it, you didn't know...it's ok..there is really nothing to say
a-i am so sorry
m- :)
then she left the room and i cried
when will this end???

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Believe me dear, I was asked the same question a few times, and each time there would be a stabing pain in my heart and a feeling that I was a failure, and yes I would cry.You're hanging in wonderfully my dear, each time this pain comes, don't ignore it, just do what you've been doing, feel it and then cry, cry,cry...

Aunt Shirley

Anonymous said...

I`m here for you anytime Melanie! I`m just an email, phone call, or short drive away! :) You`re doing everything right. Sometimes we just need to get through one day at a time.
xox
VĂ©ronique

mel said...

man, some days it hit me. the tears start and i do let them fall. then i remember that it's a process and that i am still grieving, it hasn't been a year! time does heal and it helps that i have great family and friends!

thanks both of you's!

Shaun and Holly said...

Oh Mel! :( It's really hard, isn't it. I am so sorry for your pain and your grief.
xo <3
ps. I saved a really great devotional and healing type book that a friend told me about when I lost our little Babe. I can mail it to you if you like. Just email me your address if you want it.