it's all fun and games

where's naters?

oh there he is

but what is he doing?

having a snack with poppa and quinn and talking to them

i could not find nate this morning, i went all over the house. i finally found him at his desk. i happened to have my camera in my hand and snapped a pic, not knowing what he was doing. as i walked closer i saw what he was looking at and heard his conversation, then i snuck up and snapped the above pic with out him seeing me. his convo went like this

there is my poppa and quinn. my very best friend. we were in disney in florida together. i love disney, mickey mouse lives there. i love quinn

then (i felt tears coming)

i miss quinn and my poppa. maybe they come and play and see me another day?

sniff. i snapped the pics. uploaded them asap and wrote down the conversation to make sure i got it right

as i sipped my coffee he made this "tada!"

tada!

i left to do a quick vacuum (sorry, can't help it) came back to turn the lights off and saw this

at my desk! ha. he moved it

i love my kid

1 comments

Posted by mel at 9:50 AM

this blog is tongue in cheek. those who know me, know that i am posting this with no bitterness/anger/resentment etc...

over the last yr, i have kept a short list of really stupid things that people have said to me about losing ben. i am posting it today...i reached # 10...ha!

10 really stupid things that were said to me

1-“thank goodness it happened now and not later” really now? why would that be?

2-"maybe there was something seriously wrong with it, it’s a blessing that the baby died"
3- "god must have a reason"

4- “I had a friend who lost her baby at blah, blah, blah weeks. You had it much better/easier”
5-"maybe you should get checked out by a doctor" …yeah. That is brilliant. Never thought of that before!

6-complain to me about your pregnancy pains a few WEEKS after I lost ben. Seriously? Must I tell you to shut up?

7-"god needed ben in heaven". Yeah, my god is a baby killer and uses those babies for his garden. Seriously?

8-6 wk pp check up. The dr asked me where the baby was. I said she should go read my chart. I kinda thought it was funny, I still kinda do

9-walking past a group of friends talking about how cute our kids are. Then one said “nate is so cute, you should have 10 more!”

All righty then! I waited, you know to give her/them a minute to THINK about what they just said but nope. I got another “ nate is so cute, you should have more kids”

Then I gave them the death stare and said “yeah, well, we are working on that one”

10-a friend of mine and I share the birth/death date of our sons. A mutual friend said “how wonderful to have a friend to celebrate the day with”
Yeah. I would have used the word grieve, not celebrate. bright one

Amazingly, wonderful, supporting and often tear producing words

1-welcome to the club that no one wants to be a part of, please know that you are not alone

2-can I just hug you?

3-other moms of lost ones simply sharing their stories

4-having ben remembered in the simple ways by loved ones

5- a candle. o simple. o beautiful. i love it

6- a friend showing up at my door, with a meal, a hug, a book/pamphlets and demanding to be told what she can do. I had her call and cancel my 3 d ultrasound appointment that was to happen that week, a call that was making me sick to think about

7-the emails, the phone calls, the letters, the support, the love shown by close family, close friends and surprisingly those who I didn’t know so much before. i won't name them but they know who they are

8-the out pouring of love and support with the meals for the 2 weeks that followed. the meals that were left on my door step, the consideration and the respect of my privacy during those icky weeks that followed. the flowers that followed. the words of wisdom of those moms who did this before me

9-"i don’t know what to say so I will say nothing". Then she gave me a hug. Then I cried

10- "you are loved"

11- "it will get better. the pain will ease. talk, talk and talk it out. do not blame yourself, you did NOTHING, you will never forget your baby but it is ok to move on and live"

12-"remind yourself that you are a daughter of the king"

13- "i am coming over to babysit nate while you go out with chris" not just words. but they actually booked the night and did it

there was more love shown then stupidity. it just makes me roll my eyes and chuckle some days! 6 comments

Posted by mel at 1:25 PM

christmas concert

veronique and her little sheep

the future mr. and mrs. eigenheer

up on stage with the big kids. acting properly

the real performance. nate and his bud weston got in a fight. this is (what i think happened, i was to busy laughing my butt off to pay super close attention)

nate wanted weston's sheep ears, so he took em

weston wanted them back

nate said no

then he yelled no

then weston sucker punched him

then nate yelled

then nate threw his sheep ears off the stage

then they laughed about it and made up

it was so funny

my bud and i. nate was so snugly (very, super rare!) during the adult part of the concert

sorry for the lack of posts. we have been so busy this weekend!

we spent most of it building (we='s chris) my new desk! then nate wanted one so we (again...chris) built one for him. then it had to be assembled, put together, then i had to take out all the crap/stuff in the loft to put it in...now i am putting the area together...so, no pics until it's done!

busy, busy, busy bee's we are!

5 more sleeps till ho ho! wheeee!

0 comments

Posted by mel at 3:01 PM

ears and pictures

i made this. it was so easy. trust me it looks better in person!

i met with the ear dr yesterday for the results of my ct scan.

the damage in the right ear was caused by hormones and until we are done our family, nothing much can be done. other than an hearing aid. there is no point in fixing it to have it broken again!

left ear. the damage is BONE! not nerve! yipee this is great news! why? bec there are 3 choices

1- operation. go in a fix the bone, reattach/connect and cross fingers the hearing will come back. positive it's free :) negative- my body could resist/fight and flush out the connected bone as a foreign object...and i would need another surgery.

2-hearing aid. i can be fitted for an inner ear aid. in stead of fixing it we would use hearing aids. which is good for me bec i skip the surgery and i can remove the ear pc at night to sleep. it would be hard to adjust to suddenly hear out of the left ear again. sleeping would be hard, i would have to re learn it.

neg side. these hearing aids are very pricey. even with coverage it would cost quite a lot

3- permanent outer hearing aid. i would have a surgery that would screw a metal piece into my skull just above my ear. this metal will show, then a hearing aid would be fitted inside my ear, resulting in almost perfect hearing. forever. there would not be a need for anymore surgery!

neg- i would always have a pc of ugly metal showing, making me not so cute. i am so vain!

so i am going to meet with another specialist to talk pricing for the hearing aid...if it's workable i will most likely get an hearing aid for now

once we are done our family, we will talk the right ear. if i require surgery for that ear i will most likely opt to have both ears done at the same time

so, once again we wait

i like the idea of the hearing aid...i can slip it out and say "hu??? no, i didn't hear nate yelling did you? or what you saying?? help you in the shop? i thought you said mel go shop!"

haha 2 comments

Posted by mel at 12:17 PM

bed frame!

finally! our bed is now off the floor! chris finished it and brought it up last night. frame ready to be assembled (with a squeaky clean bathed, snack eating boy)

put together! we moved the bedroom around. the bed is now against the bathroom wall. i love it!

in 1 corner we have chris

and nate in the other

voila done! the boys taking a well deserved rest.

now we need end tables, a dresser, fire place/t.v cabinet and a closet/tall boy for chris's clothing. baby steps, baby steps

bwahhhh nate cracks me up. this is him smiling

don't hate me but check out my front yard

walk way...i am thinking i may have to mow the lawn soon

back yard

i am SO loving these amazing warm temps! i walked last night and wore my spring jacket. it was +16 yesterday. today a mere +10

who needs snow? i LOVE this weather! wheeeee!

2 comments

Posted by mel at 1:44 PM

nateism

how can i not share this dozy

i asked nate to clean up the playroom oh about 5 times. finally i said " i am going to my room to get ready, when i am done this play room better be clean!" then i left

i was sitting finishing my hair, the iron in my hair and in waltzes nate is, slowly with out a care in the world our convo goes like this

m-did you clean up the playroom?
n-nope
m-and why not?
n-i don't have to
m-what?!
n-nope. i don't. i called poppy on the phone and he said that i don't have to

i tried SO hard to not laugh and i called chris up and had nate tell him what he said. he repeated it

yes, nate DID clean up the playroom.

another one

nate is a chatter box. the questions DO NOT stop. i will spare the details but i am left exhausted by the questions. anyways. now when he says something and i ask him where he heard it, saw it or was told this. he ALWAYS says

mickey mouse

yep, mickey mouse told him that jesus was born in a manger
mickey mouse told him that he can go to tim's and get a tim bit

sure. blame the mouse! 0 comments

Posted by mel at 4:14 PM