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part 4!

 after a power outage, for real. no power with all the kids in a hotel. we finally found a tims that was opened to grab some food and java.  we hit up victoria park. they had a mommy and me swing. so fun!  cry tried it with joey
 then quinn
 and off we went to explore the park. it is a truly beautiful park
 all the kids climbed jacob's ladder!  it took a bit longer for joey but she did it all by herself. i did how ever ask shawn to carry her back down for her safety! but the kids all did it!
 the water falls
 proud of herself
 more waterfalls
an attempt of a group shot
 an attempt of a family shot. joey was having nothing to do with it
 my boy
 with out joey as a photo bomb
 ellie and me on the mommy and me swing. so fun!
 after a swim, and a decision to go home, we hit up mom and dad's room to chill before we left to hit up another park and have supper. the plan was to leave after supper
 my little lady
 eating chips with papa chips
 sharing secrets
 ellie joined in too
 after all the other adults came back from their walk (cough beer store) we left the hotel to meet up at the park.

this is where i struggle to share what happened. so with out emotion ill just type what happened.  as we all walked down the hotel's hallway, quinn was leaving with jon/jess and copper.  off they went.  nate decided to ride with  me and cry and joey.  ellie wanted to ride with shawn and charlotte. mom and dad will join us up later.  as we walked down the hall, shawn's crew took the stairs.  i waited for the elevator.  i looked up and saw ellie's little legs, her hair piled up on her head and her black shoes walk around the corner with charlie.

i took the elevator.

we waked out of the hotel to the cars. out of the corner of my eye i saw charlie's dress.  cry saw shawn.  i didnt see ellie.  cry called back to shawn "confirmation. you have ellie?"  he yelled "no!"  in that 3 seconds i realized that ellie was missing

the hotel is booked solid.  2 weddings. 

i looked at cry, dropped all my stuff on the bench and said "please take joey, im going in after her"

i ran up 4 flights of stairs, running up and down the hallways screaming for ellie.  asking everyone if they saw her. no one saw her.  nothing.  i got to the top floor and ran to dad's room.  he heard me yelling.  i saw him and screamed "ellie!  she's missing! call the front desk"

in panic and a feeling of dread and terror. it felt like water of terror washing over my body.  i ran back down 4 flights of hallways and stairs.  screaming for ellie.  i hit the front desk area and there was ellie

i dropped to my knees and lost it. 

putting everything together. the heavy door to the stairs blocked ellie from following the crew. so she did what she knew and walked back to our old room. crying. the room attendant saw her and took her immediately to the front desk where cry and shawn were waiting.  so we figure she was alone for about 30 seconds.  but i didnt know she was safe for 5-8 mins

the worst 5 minutes of my life. i never, ever want to relive that ever again.  i sobbed on and off the rest of the day.  and sunday. oh i was a mes on sunday

im still processing this traumatic event. the thoughts that run through my head are things i never want to think of again.  i want to put this event behind me.  it was a silly, honest mistake that anyone would make. but for some reason i just cant get over it

on top of dealing with a lot of issues in my life right now, life is just dark, scary and sad.  i cant remember going through a season where life was just so dark.  so prayers would be wonderful!

ellie is home. safe and sound.  nothing happened to her and she forgot all about it. but i havent.  the thought of losing my ellie joy brings such pain to my heart i cant go there. 

so stop and hug your kids. even when they are acting horrid.  just hug them

after ellie was safe we went to the park down the street from my old house. nate and shawn played ball
 nate's quite good at ball!
 we hit up swiss chalet and 5 mins in the van joey was out for the count
i cried most of the drive home. i wore my sunglasses so nate could not see
 once we were home, chris had the bath ready for me and unpacked for me.  nate then showed me how he decorated his room
his mini fridge. he put his kids camp magnets on the door
 the fridge is now filled with food. ha
 his sitting area
 his bed that needs a duvet cover and sheets that match
 the wall sign i picked up in may. i love it. im always saying it to him
i should follow my own advice...
 book case
 showing me the new book shawn bought for him